I loved choir. Every day, i got to go to a room full of wonderful, talented people for an hour and make music. Every day I got to go to a room full of wonderful, talented people, and leave behind worries and hurt and anger and just simply sing.
The choir program at my high school was wonderful. My director is one of the best teachers and men I've ever met. He cared deeply about his students and their success, but not just in the choir/ music area. He wanted us to be the best we could be in every area. He wanted us to be passionate about life. We were a family, there is no other word for it.
Some of the best people I know were part of that choir. I will never forget Large Group Contest Junior year, when we sang an arrangement of Gloria by Randol Alan Bass. There was an electric feeling on the stage. I was in concert choir for the first time, the audition only, mixed choir group at my high school. We had been bonding all year. Part of our performances were to hold hands on stage. The entire choir was connected and felt totally and completely unified. The song is just under 7 minutes in length. Our director told us that he was so proud to be able to direct a choir that could sing this demanding piece, which he sang in college (I think, something like that). It is one of his favoite pieces, and he was so excited to be able to direct it, something he never thought he'd be able to do.
When we got to the end of the song, I remember feeling so proud of everyone. We felt whole, unified, and strong. We were truly a family in that moment, a unit, a team. I have never felt such elation, such joy, such pride in my fellow students. It was amazing to be able to be a part of something so beautiful. I felt like crying and jumping up and down. I remember thinking "we did it. That was freaking amazing. We did it!"
I don't remember who was standing next to me, but I know we were all squeezing everyone's hands (or at least holding them very firmly), as if to say "good job! we did it!" There probably wasn't a pause at the end of the song. There probably wasn't a stunned silence from the audience for more than a brief second. We were there to be judged, we had to get off stage and let the next group on. But in my memory, that moment stretched, full, and lasted long. Lasted through our director's brief "thank you" smile, lasted through the hugs we wanted to give (but couldn't yet) and filled the auditorium with peace and hope and love. A feeling of harmony.
I doubt anyone else had the same experience as me really, but I remember that moment as being one of the best in my life. I would have stayed in the choir, with that group of people for the next ten years or more if i could.
I miss choir. I went back to the concert in December, and as is tradition at my school, was able to join them all on stage for "Still, Still, Still" as an alumni. The back row of us alum didn't get the candles they hold during that song, but we held hands. We were, once again, part of the choir kids. Part of a beautiful unity, a family.
I cried during the last song we sang senior year. We have a senior song every year, where the seniors all come down to the front of the stage and halfway through the song leave to stand by our parents, seated on the aisles. I made it through the final rehearsal that morning (barely), but by the concert, was sobbing. I didn't think I would, because I had cried a little earlier that day, but I did. Choir was one of the best things to happen to my high school career. I miss it, and am so glad I decided to do it all the years I was in public school.
So here is a thank you to all the wonderful people I met there, all the relationships I built, even if they aren't as strong anymore. You guys got me through High School, gave me hope for the future and a place to call home. Thank you to my director, for teaching me how to leave my baggage (stress, worries, anger, problems) at the door of the choir room every day, and work hard without them for one hour. For teaching me it doesn't matter if you are the best, but if you try hard, enjoy yourself, and work together, wonderful things can happen. For giving me a place I knew I could come and just be me. A place where I didn't have to put on a front, where I didn't have to pretend to be good or smart or pretend to enjoy myself. Thank you for being there if any of us ever needed to talk. Thank you all for impacting my life in such a positive way, for being there when I needed you, even though you might not have known it. You are all the best, and will go on to do wonderful things. I miss you and love you all. Thank you for being such wonderful people.
Oh, stay your soul, and leave my heart it's song. Oh, stay your hand, the journey may be long. And when we part, and sorrow can't be swayed, remember when and let your heart be stayed. I'm lonesome for my precious children, they live so far away, oh may they hear my calling and come back home some day. And wherever you go, may a bright sun follow you, and wherever you go, may your tears be few. And wherever you go, may a soft wind carry you, everywhere you go, for the rest of your life.
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